Me? Yeah, somehow... But generally speaking, I still believe in the power of making our own destiny. Sometimes we are forced to do things that we really don't want because we know it's for the best. No matter how painful it is...we have to do what we think is right, and not what feels good at the moment. Being happy is a choice. It always is...and maybe it will remain that way forever.
So you might be wonderin' why I am talking about this? I honestly don't know either. I just read a story about someone having "butterflies in her stomach when she saw her first love again after so many years..." And all of a sudden I just remembered what my life would have been like if I chose to follow my heart some years ago. (Uuyyyy, senti mode ang lola!) Gone are the days when I would mope around and cry over a silly love song playing on the radio. Gone are the days when I would just sit all by myself and write a poem about how painful it was to move on and start over again without that "someone".
They say "First love never dies...".uh-oh! I don't think so. I still believe it does. Coz mine did. It died. But I'm not ashamed to admit that it died a year after I decided to call it quits. Yes, it took me a year to get over my first love but I never regret it. He didn't know what I had been through. He didn't know the pain he had caused me. He didn't know that my heart died each day for one whole year! He was a nice guy and very goodlooking. But I didn't think he could be that someone I could spend the rest of my life with. (uy, bitter! lol) But kidding aside, what we had was special but I just don't remember that feeling anymore. I thought what I had felt was something worth dying for. But looking back, I knew I made the right decision. We were not meant for each other. I knew I had to take control of my life or else it will control me...I was only 17 then and didn't want to be in a situation that I would regret for the rest of my life. The decision was rather heart-wrenching. But trust me, it was worth it.
I'm glad I waited though. In 2001, I finally found the one. He was the one I had been praying for. We share the same conviction in life and have the same values. He was not rich --- but I knew he had big dreams and knew how to make things happen. Plus, he also has a wonderful family. For the very first time in my life I found myself trusting someone whole-heartedly with no hesitations at all. He's also the very first guy I introduced to my family and had visited my home.
On our first year anniversary as a couple, he asked me to marry him--I couldn't say NO. Coz I knew that saying "no" to his proposal would be the biggest mistake of my life.
So we got married in 2004. I was only 23, and he was 26. To be honest, I wanted to get married at 27 or 28. But what will I do? He's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with so why wait? Some people asked me why I got married so early. And I always answer, "I wouldn't have been married if I hadn't met my husband..." Come to think of it, it's not always about the age. It's actually a matter of being ready and being mature enough to know what you're getting into. Some people get married at age 27...some even wait till they reach 30 but still end up having a broken marriage. So what does age have to do with it? I'd say I'm just lucky to have found the one for me at 23.
Anyway, do you know this song? I'll sing it for you... Ready? :-)
"For a moment like this, some people wait a lifetime...
For a moment like this, some people seach forever...
For that one special kiss, Oh I can't believe it's happening to me...
Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this..."
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